Letter No. 48 Changes

 

Woke up to the mewling noise of a wriggly creature lying next to me. 

Bubu's same old tricks: and it doesn't feel like a trouble for me anymore. 

Yesterday was the last day of my parental leave. 

While I was working on this blog at 830pm last evening, 

my wife said "Thank you on behalf of Bubu and Mommy."

I said "for what?"

She said "for taking the parental leave and becoming such a good dad."

She was welling up a little,

which also made me a bit emotional. 

"Have I changed? "

I can now wake up at 4am without an alarm, albeit I must go back to sleep after feeding him to make myself functional during the day. 

Doing house chores has become a mere menial task: it used to be a cumbersome work I hated the most, but now it doesn’t feel as challenging.

I check my calendar more often because I need to make sure that my schedule is aligned with my wife's. We have become closer working partners on Bubu-to-do. 

I am more convinced that we men need to work harder on child rearing and housework. This is not just about unlocking women's potentials. This is about how men can improve our quality of life. 

I sense a strong bond of solidarity when I spot young moms/dads who are struggling to push baby strollers on the station's platform: it makes me want to help them or at least cheer them up. 

I am slightly more motivated in all fronts of my life both work and hobbies included. Watching Bubu grow has fueled my engine. 

I am more fit and healthier. I now have a responsibility to live longer. I also want to be a good-looking cool dad whom Bubu can admire and be proud of.

I am closer to both sides of our families. Our moms are invaluable sources of child-rearing tips.  

I am more informed about our community. As we live apart from our parents, we rely on our immediate neighbors. We need to familiarize ourselves with our community because that's Bubu's community, too. 

The list can go on further.  

And I truly hope these are not temporal changes. 

Watching Bubu sound asleep, I told myself:

"You've ridden out this past two month. That's something."

But another voice of mine warned me soon after:

"Don’t you let your guard down. This is an end to the beginning. There's a long way down the road."

I rolled up the sleeve, got what’s left of Bubu-to-do done, prepared everything needed for the following day at work, took a peek of Bubu's sleeping face, and finally went to bed at 1000pmーa bit earlier than usual ー so that I can be ready to wake up at 4am next day. 

I’m thankful to Bubu for giving me this past two months. I had such a luxury to find new things in life. 

To be continued...